Projections, Preferences & Problems, or What’s Wrong with Your Pussy?

Last week, an about to be rich cutie with big ole bootybootysapp

got the call he had been waiting for. He celebrated this milestone achievement by kissing the object of his affection.

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Predictably, ThaKiddz were DEEP in their feelings about it. You Kulluds, I swear! Black Gay Facebook and Twitter were full of the worst stereotypical and misinformed foolishness. Luckily, Ya Brista is here to get them all the way together, so let’s just get into it!

First, why are we bothered by the choices of any man, black, white, or other? Maybe Michael Sam only likes white guys, or maybe he just likes this particular guy, who happens to be white. Whatever the case, it is entirely his preference, and Ya Brista is unbothered by how any other man chooses to live his life as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone or adversely affect MY ability to get MY life. Another man’s PREFERENCE should never be your PROBLEM!

Second, there is this big lie among ThaKiddz that there is some epidemic of Black gay celebrities dating outside their race, which is bullshit. For every Derrick Gordon,derrickbfpictured above with his boyfriend, actor Gerald McCullough, there’s Deondray Gossett and Quincy LeNear,LeNearGossettwho got married as part of that publicity stunt ceremony at the Grammys. Deondray and Quincy also produce The DL Chronicles, that series you illegally downloaded a couple of years ago, but I digress. For every Michael Sam,Sambeachpictured above with his boyfriend Vito Cammisano, there is Lewis Duckett and Billy Jones,DuckettJoneswho have been together for 46 years. I could go on and on, but Cypher Avenue has done all that work for me. The point is that, once again, you have mistaken a PREFERENCE for a PROBLEM!

Some particularly desperate and bitter bitches have insinuated (or outright stated) that Michael Sam’s boyfriend Vito wouldn’t know what to do with him sexually, which just the other side of “that white woman don’t know how to please that brotha! He needs a sista!” Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but Vito’s ex-boyfriend is Austin Wilde. awildeYes, THAT Austin Wilde…

So I am gonna go out on a limb and say that Vito has been fucked before, and well, I might add, but even if he is a TERRIBLE lay, that is Michael Sam’s problem, not yours.

In the case of both Derrick Gordon and Michael Sam, ThaKiddz are invested in the personal preferences of men they did not even know existed last Christmas. They are projecting their desires, fears, prejudices, and shortcomings onto men who just want to find their own happiness, and I get that. ThaKiddz are pissed because Derrick and Michael chose a mate with whom they couldn’t compete, and now they are left to exist in their own world of shitty internet hookups and Facebook lust affairs, AKA Ain’t Shit Brothas. Well, Ya Brista is here to remind you that, in the words of Katt Williams, you need to figure out what it is about your pussy that keeps attracting Ain’t Shit Brothas!

Kevin Hart was asked once what he would say to women who were angry about his relationship, and he said, “If it wasn’t her it [still] wouldn’t be you!” Truer words were never said. Even if Michael Sam and Derrick Gordon weren’t dating who they were, do you honestly think they would be dating you? Probably not, and even if one or both of them did date someone black, the focus of criticism from ThaKiddz would turn from race to other characteristics. He would be too light-skinned, or too dark-skinned, or too feminine, or too young, or too old, or too WHATEVER. Your PREFERENCES are not Derrick Gordon and Michael Sam’s PROBLEMS! At some point you just gottafrozenTune in next week, when we will get back to our celebration of National Masturbation Month!

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